My dear friend F is the kind of gal that always has something waaaay more exciting going on in her life than changing diapers and constructing her latest supper menu plan. After enjoying a night out of berry cosmos and lobster mac and cheese and covering a realm of interesting and fascinating topics, I have boiled our three hours or so down to five things you need to know.
When you have skinny legs and accessorize with a fab top and awesome boots, jeggings ARE quite cute.
F: "Can you believe M posted on FB that she thinks jeggings are stupid?"
A: (Once I got past why on Earth one would ever take fashion advise from M and where on Earth M has been for the last eleven years) "Why waste time on thinking jeggings are stupid? Has she not heard of pajama jeans? (I feel certain she has not only heard of pajama jeans but was likely sporting them that very minute.)"
Living in a metro-Atlanta suburb that other metro-Atlantans have stereotyped as "snobs" is not at all a bad thing.
A: "Only in our neck of the woods can I go to Publix and see not one but TWO ladies picking up bacon and butter in full length mink coats."
F: "OMG, I love that. I want to be that."
When you look past the toothpaste remnants in the sink and dirty clothes on the bedroom floor, there are some very valid reasons for keeping a man around the house.
F: "So... I accidentally locked myself out of the pantry."
A: "Do tell."
F: "Well, eighty-nine dollars later I was able to make a PB&J."
A: "No, you did NOT call a locksmith?!?!"
F: "Yep. He kept looking at me really strangely and finally said 'I thought you'd be really fat 'cause who puts a lock on their pantry?'"
Sequins are always in style. Even for a Monday night cocktail with a bestie that you don't need to dress to impress.
F: (Upon both arriving in sequin tanks...) "I thought tonight really felt like a sequin night."
A: "Me too. What night isn't a sequin night?"
Giving extremely explicit gift instructions (or just purchasing the coveted item to yourself from him) ensures that you always get exactly what you want and that you can genuinely squeal "I just totally and completely adore it" and really and truly mean it.
F: "I used to think friend N was crazy in college. She would circle jewelry she liked in a catalog and give it to BF C."
A: "That is definitely NOT crazy."
F: "I get that now and have recently succumbed to her wise ways."